The past two weeks has been a feast of relevant content: Two Altar Boys released albums and one got cancelled. What more can a girl ask for?!

HARRY STYLES released his fourth album Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally. Between Harry’s vague comments in “interviews” and the lackluster content of the album, it sounds like his heart isn’t in making music anymore.

In the press, and press is a strong word, around the album Harry repeatedly talked about how during his time off from music he got to be on the other side of the audience experience and focused on the feeling of being in the audience in the making of the album. His other main talking point is how he fell in love with running to the point where he was “profiled” in Runners World, a publication ill-equipped for his level of talent. These aren’t the comments of someone who took time off from making music only to re-devote themselves to their craft, these are the comments of someone who wants to go to concerts and on runs. And we should let him! This is a guy who has been disgustingly famous since he was 16-years-old and never got a break until “Love on Tour” ended. 

Instead fans are subjected to “a concept album about listening to music” where he steers away from his strengths. His refusal to write anything personal leaves us with incomprehensible lyrics that lack a point of view … and he distorts his one beauty, his voice. As Ed Power wrote in the Irish Times, “What’s remarkable about Styles is that he seems so charismatic on stage, or when out and about, but that this aura does not translate to his music.”

As a fan, it’s nearly impossible to deepen your relationship with Harry through this album alone. 

The only swell of emotion I felt listening to the album is on “American Girls” where he strains his voice in the way he used to in One Direction. He sounds like the previous version of himself that I fell in love with and in turn allowed me to fall in love with music. And I’m not the only one. On TikTok there’s dozens of videos of fans saying “if you listen closely you can literally hear his long hair and chelsea boots” and “btw this is who is singing american girls” with a series of old photos of Harry. As a listener, you shouldn’t have to rely on nostalgia to connect to a song. 

If your music lacks perspective and you refuse to sit for revealing interviews, fans are forced to seek connection in nostalgia, gimmicks, and mind-numbing clips that reveal a glimmer of personality they can grasp onto. It becomes a substanceless cycle. I read Harry interviewing Haruki Murakami in Runners World already knowing he’s one of Harry’s favorite writers, I watched Harry on Brittany Broski’s Royal Court, and streamed Harry Styles. One Night Only in Manchester. on Netflix. 

At the end of the kind of concert movie Charli XCX lambasted in The Moment, Harry performed “From The Dining Table,” his most personal song that remains the shining jewel of his lyricism for the first time in EIGHT years, which felt like an admission of KATTDO’s lyrical shortfall if I’ve ever seen one.

Soon after he brought his vaguery to politics. With a limp fist raised in the air he said, “I encourage you to keep being the change in the world that you want to see.” He wrapped up by saying, “The world could use a little extra peace right now, so please do what you can.” The limp fist combined with “please do what you can” is the perfect encapsulation of the KATTDO era. 

TIMOTHEE CHALAMET made some powerful enemies before Oscars voting ended. Who are the powerful enemies you might ask? The ballet and opera communities. In an interview with Mattthew McConaughey for a Variety & CNN town hall, Timmy addressed the Tom Cruise-style press tour aimed at keeping movie theaters alive. He explained, “I don’t want to be working in ballet or opera. Or things where it’s like keep this thing alive and no one cares anymore. All respect to the ballet and opera people. I just lost 14 cents in viewership. I just took shots for no reason” 

The amount of backlash he’s received is truly laughable. Seemingly every ballet and opera company has spoken out against him — Seattle Opera even offered a 14% off code for select seats for Carmen with the code TIMOTHEE. It’s reached the point where the principal of his high school addressed “the controversy." I refuse to read any think pieces about Timmy’s off-the-cuff remark. The best response to his comments is a tweet that reads, “I love the fortnight before the Oscars where the discourse starts to take an almost surrealist turn.” 

Could this cost him the Oscar? I have no clue, but it would be hilarious if it did. 

JACK HARLOW released Monica last night, so I don’t have fully formed opinions just yet, BUT it’s an R&B album which Altar Boys readers expected from his hat. But I do miss hearing him rap, the genre aside from Letterboxd review that allows his humor and wit to shine — for curious minds his best rap album is 2018’s Loose. It’s worth noting that on Monica there’s a singular mention of in the form of a conversation between his parents about their first date in the outro to “Against The Grain.”